ugh i’m sorry :( i hope there is also a positive predicate for your transition in addition to this negative one, but it’s certainly apparent how the derisive treatment of amab individuals can play into their future expression of gender identity. thanks for sharing <3
Curiously, the masculine values I was taught as a kid and young adult would turn into simply adulting in the 21st century: Taking responsibility for essential business and duties (even if they’re not designated as mine) Paying bills on time (or negotiating to not lose utility service); keeping conflicts civil, not retaliating harmfully over petty grievances. (I am a good ex and take pride in it.)
Values like these were common in the 70s and 80s during the cold war, that use of force was only done after deliberation and all alternatives were exhausted.
Curiously, that these were masculine values implied they weren’t feminine values, that women were implied not to be capable or expected of upholding this code of conduct… except when I was a kid, there were too many examples of women who could and did. And yeah, by the aughts everyone not a politician or an aristocrat was expected to adult and was penalized when they didn’t.
And in the 2020s our masculine role models are Donald Trump, Matt Walsh, Joe Rogan, Ben Shapiro, etc. who conduct themselves the opposite of these ideals. Also there’s valid concern that Trump might order a nuclear strike if provoked.
Now even as a kid I didn’t feel particularly driven to express my masculinity and was for a while a gender abolitionist, seeing an ideal world where it didn’t matter except to partners and intimates.
But then in the trans community, there are people who really like being a woman / being a man and expressing that identity outwarldly. Gender expression and representation are super important to them the way it’s not at all to me.
So I’m happy to be enby, not only retaining the values I grew up with, but recognizing they suit anyone, not just guys.
Yeah but thats not the self mutilation to kill off all emotions. Thats just denying a subset of actions and interests.
As I said it is exaggerated pretty steeply. There exists naturally manly men, including trans men, who are perfectly fine on an emotional level. To be manly doesn’t mean to be a walking husk devoid of all feeling.
Its still a legitimate issue, don’t get me wrong, I just find the wording really edgy, possibly slightly cringe.
See that’s just it, though, I explicitly did the apposite of what you just suggested. I disavowed disingenuine discussion.
If anything, it’s sad to me that you feel the need to label our enemies as mentally ill. I think a good way to approach societal issues like this doesn’t involve exaggerated labels and dramatizations to denigrate them as weak incompetents, rather we should acknowledge that they are human beings and the default state of human beings is to lower the standing of others and empower ourselves. We’re greedy and selfish as a default. We need to built systems to mitigate damage done to each other, just like the Civil Rights Bill did.
I did not label anyone as the enemy? You seem to be drastically misunderstanding this whole thing in that case. Men are victims under patriarchy, too. That is in fact the whole point of this post. The enemy is the patriarchy, a systemic structure.
Ah you are deeply equivocating two distinct terms. Men, as women, can suffer from mental illness. The patriarchy is a system, not some person or group, and cannot suffer from mental illness. Your misunderstanding of these terms is getting in your way.
Kind of feels like an attempt to be deep that dives so far into analogy that it actually contradicts nuance and becomes shallow instead.
Like if reality were a 5 this quote would represent it as a 10.
“Be a man”, “Real men don’t cry”, “Crybaby”, “Man up”, “That show is for women”, “That sounds super gay”
This is what pop culture tells men to say to other emotionally sensitive men.
This is specifically why I am no longer a man.
ugh i’m sorry :( i hope there is also a positive predicate for your transition in addition to this negative one, but it’s certainly apparent how the derisive treatment of amab individuals can play into their future expression of gender identity. thanks for sharing <3
Curiously, the masculine values I was taught as a kid and young adult would turn into simply adulting in the 21st century: Taking responsibility for essential business and duties (even if they’re not designated as mine) Paying bills on time (or negotiating to not lose utility service); keeping conflicts civil, not retaliating harmfully over petty grievances. (I am a good ex and take pride in it.)
Values like these were common in the 70s and 80s during the cold war, that use of force was only done after deliberation and all alternatives were exhausted.
Curiously, that these were masculine values implied they weren’t feminine values, that women were implied not to be capable or expected of upholding this code of conduct… except when I was a kid, there were too many examples of women who could and did. And yeah, by the aughts everyone not a politician or an aristocrat was expected to adult and was penalized when they didn’t.
And in the 2020s our masculine role models are Donald Trump, Matt Walsh, Joe Rogan, Ben Shapiro, etc. who conduct themselves the opposite of these ideals. Also there’s valid concern that Trump might order a nuclear strike if provoked.
Now even as a kid I didn’t feel particularly driven to express my masculinity and was for a while a gender abolitionist, seeing an ideal world where it didn’t matter except to partners and intimates.
But then in the trans community, there are people who really like being a woman / being a man and expressing that identity outwarldly. Gender expression and representation are super important to them the way it’s not at all to me.
So I’m happy to be enby, not only retaining the values I grew up with, but recognizing they suit anyone, not just guys.
Yeah but thats not the self mutilation to kill off all emotions. Thats just denying a subset of actions and interests.
As I said it is exaggerated pretty steeply. There exists naturally manly men, including trans men, who are perfectly fine on an emotional level. To be manly doesn’t mean to be a walking husk devoid of all feeling.
Its still a legitimate issue, don’t get me wrong, I just find the wording really edgy, possibly slightly cringe.
It’s sad to me that you feel the need to disavow genuine discussion of men’s mental and emotional health as “overexaggerated cringe.” That shit kills.
See that’s just it, though, I explicitly did the apposite of what you just suggested. I disavowed disingenuine discussion.
If anything, it’s sad to me that you feel the need to label our enemies as mentally ill. I think a good way to approach societal issues like this doesn’t involve exaggerated labels and dramatizations to denigrate them as weak incompetents, rather we should acknowledge that they are human beings and the default state of human beings is to lower the standing of others and empower ourselves. We’re greedy and selfish as a default. We need to built systems to mitigate damage done to each other, just like the Civil Rights Bill did.
I did not label anyone as the enemy? You seem to be drastically misunderstanding this whole thing in that case. Men are victims under patriarchy, too. That is in fact the whole point of this post. The enemy is the patriarchy, a systemic structure.
I mean, Patriarchy is my enemy so if it’s not your enemy then I don’t think we can be friends, lol
Ah you are deeply equivocating two distinct terms. Men, as women, can suffer from mental illness. The patriarchy is a system, not some person or group, and cannot suffer from mental illness. Your misunderstanding of these terms is getting in your way.
As with any political ideology, the Patriarchy is represented by people, and addressing it goes in tow with the people who come to mind.
skill issue, just say you don’t get it bro