Please don’t ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

  • GratefullyGodless@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1271·
    1 year ago

    I was worried that lemmy wouldn’t reach the pinnacle of quality to match reddit, and then this post came along to soothe those fears. Good luck on your no poop quest.

  • Match!!@pawb.socialEnglish
    1201·
    1 year ago

    enjoy your sex trip and I wish you happy bottoming! if you’re not going to be doing too much physical labor during this time I recommend going full bottom mode: the week ahead of it start eating very lightly, initially a high fiber diet with added psyllium husk or metamucil. your body might be different but mine would say no dairy during this time. for the day before or even two, switch to a meatless and somewhat low fiber diet - ramen noodles is a classic, cookies, soup, other carbs. before you leave for the trip, clean out with an enema bulb (or store bought enemas if your ass is bougie or inexperienced). the combination of low fiber and low food throughput should keep you from having to poop and whatever poop is still in your tract will get largely removed by the enema.

    while you’re out at your fuck-tent, consume most of your calories from simple carbs as much as your body will handle so as to give your microbiome less to work with - applesauce is kinda nice, fruit snacks, white bread. eat like a twink!

    remember to stay hydrated!! I know you’re not trying to pee either but it’s important to hydrate even if it means suffering whatever penalty your dom is giving you when you ask to be let out to pee

  • cly@lemmy.worldEnglish
    65·
    1 year ago

    In 10 years, people are going to say “I joined Lemmy before the 3 days without pooping post”

  • Crit_D@lemmy.worldEnglish
    62·
    1 year ago

    I came to Lemmy as a substitute for Reddit, and I’m impressed at how little time it took to reach the high-quality posts that Reddit was known for.

  • mizu@vlemmy.netEnglish
    41·
    1 year ago

    Update because I still get one or two comments in my inbox daily asking me about this thing.

    Yes, I did succeed.

    No, I’m not telling anyone what all of this was about.

    I got constipated after the thing was over and made a post asking for help.

    The promised picture of my porcelain throne:

  • Bye@lemmy.worldEnglish
    32·
    1 year ago

    So you are going to wear some kind of pants that you can’t take off easily for 3 days. Maybe some kind of medieval armor, or a fursuit.

    Gatorade has tons of calories because of the sugar, and it will leave nothing to poop out. It will give you the critical electrolytes (plants crave them) that you’re missing from food. Take a multivitamin too.

    But it doesn’t have enough calories, and you need stuff to go in your stomach so you don’t suffer being empty on your temporary Gatorade diet. eat white bread. Your body metabolizes almost all of it, so there’s almost nothing to poop out.

    You will need to poop out all your poop before doing this, so good hydration and veggies beforehand will clean you out. No need for laxatives, just switch to your new and stupid diet 36 hours before you need to stop pooping.

    Good luck on your medieval battle reënactment or orgy.

  • atwerp@feddit.nlEnglish
    24·
    1 year ago

    OP, you misunderstand the “no shitposts on lemmy” guideline, that’s not what it means

  • yarr@lemmy.fmhy.mlEnglish
    23·
    1 year ago

    Taking bets:

    • Participating in a competitive event where bathroom breaks are minimal or non-existent, such as a long-distance, multi-day gaming or eSports tournament.
    • Attending a religious or spiritual retreat where fasting or avoiding certain bodily functions is part of the practices or rituals.
    • Engaging in a survival challenge or a bet where the person has to limit food intake and avoid defecating for a certain period of time.
    • Undergoing a specific medical procedure or test that requires limiting food intake and avoiding bowel movements for a few days.
    • Participating in a scientific experiment or study where they have to control their diet and bowel movements.
    • Partaking in a performance art piece or protest where he’s limiting his bodily functions as part of the statement.
    • Attending an event (like a music festival or convention) where bathroom facilities are notoriously unclean or inconvenient, and they want to avoid using them as much as possible.
    • Embarking on a long journey where bathroom facilities may not be readily available or convenient, such as a cross-country road trip or sailing expedition.
    • Participating in a reality TV show or film production where bathroom breaks are limited or inconvenient.
    • Engaging in a personal challenge or self-imposed discipline practice related to endurance or minimalism.
    • mizu@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      12·
      1 year ago

      Okay I’ll give in a tiny bit only because this barely narrows it down: one of them is ridiculously close to what is actually the case. Like, I’m actually doing the thing you mentioned in the point, just your reasoning is wrong.

      P.S.: The actual reasoning is borderline impossible for anyone to guess so just stop trying guys.

      P.P.S.: I’ve decided that if someone actually manages to guess it, I’m gonna confirm it.

      • LufyCZ@lemmy.worldEnglish
        10·
        1 year ago

        Just for readability, these are the options with reasoning:

        • Attending an event (festivalor convention)
        • Long journey, such as a cross-country trip (probably this one, as OP mentioned walking+travelling by train)
        • Reality TV Show / film
        • Sleo@lemmy.caEnglish
          3·
          1 year ago

          He’s probably out on the Hajj, they travel to some of the key points by train. The bathroom facilities are not ideal and that’s why he is asking for ways to trim down his poop times.

          • LufyCZ@lemmy.worldEnglish
            2·
            1 year ago

            But he said that he’d make the whole trip twice and that he’d be able to poop the second time

            • Sleo@lemmy.caEnglish
              6·
              1 year ago

              As part of the hajj, the entire community travels to various points in and around the city. One of the points that’s only for a few days is in Mina, which is basically a tent city outside the official boundaries of the city of Makkah. When they are in the tent (it’s a fancy tent, air conditioned but with zero privacy with 20 other guys), the bathrooms there are communal, which in turn are not the cleanest in the world. Most of them are the eastern squatty potty style. Let’s just say not going there for a poop seems very tempting. The counter to it is, most of the food there is free, and it is really good… So it’s a very delicate balance to say the least.

              This is all speculation on my part, given the timing of it. For all we know it could be some weird kinky camping thing the guy is into!

      • L3s@lemmy.worldEnglish
        5·
        1 year ago

        One of those scenarios + poop shy around S/O, S/O family, or friends is my guess.

        Edit: also, cheese, lots of cheese.

        Edit2: is this the new “found a safe”?

        • JesusTheCarpenter@lemmy.worldEnglish
          7·
          1 year ago

          Why would he not want to say the reason though? If that was the case, the OP could just say he is a shy pooper. Instead we now suspect that this is some kind of orgy with a fetish.

        • LufyCZ@lemmy.worldEnglish
          1·
          1 year ago

          They said that facilities would be everywhere “as normal”.

          Also, they said they’d be taking travelling, the same route twice, first time around they can’t poop, second time they can.

      • Cool Beance@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        1 year ago

        You’re going to a Burning Man-style event and you don’t want to poop on June 25th because it’s Anne Frank’s birthday and in your pursuit to become the true Hide & Seek Champion you think it would be best/hilarious to “Anne Frank” your poop for three days

      • Ciari@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        1·
        1 year ago

        My guess is that OP is going to be in a circus performance (which explains the large tent with air conditioning). As to the reason they don’t want to poop, it might be because:

        • their costume(s) are difficult to remove
        • there is something about the bathroom that they find creepy/unsettling
        • they have an STD or other infection in that area of their body and don’t want to risk having anyone find out unexpectedly, or don’t want to risk spreading it to others via the toilet seat (gonna be real idk if thats even a thing but it feels like it could be)
        • they hold some kind of superstition about pooping during the initial travel period, or about entering the bathroom, or something that is in the bathroom
        • they have to get to the bathroom by passing an area and/or person that they dislike and/or feel uncomfortable around
        • they take notoriously large shits and don’t want to clog the toilet
        • they just have really bad poop anxiety

        Anyway, best of luck to you OP. Hope whatever you’re doing works out and that you stay as safe as you can. Update us when you come back!

  • mizu@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    22·
    1 year ago

    I’ve replied to quite a few people and I’m going to bed now.

    I’ll edit the posts with updates when my poopless journey ends. Either when the three-day poopless period is over (28th June) or when the whole thing is over (30 June/1 July).

    Wish me luck.

  • Jrussell@lemmy.worldEnglish
    22·
    1 year ago

    This is so fucking funny. It keeps reappearing in my all feed every day and reminding me.

  • Roggie@lemmy.mlEnglish
    20·
    1 year ago

    first day on lemmy, and this is the shit i see right off the bat. I found my reddit replacement.