Hi, I’m a 21 year old guy and every time I’m outside for example to buy groceries I see so many good looking people (both female and male).
I don’t know what it is but they seem almost perfect, their faces are so beautiful and perfect, their clothes are so stylish and perfect, their hair and make up appearance looks so well groomed and beautiful. (I’m mainly referring to people around my age from Gen Z)
They’re all so confident and wear jewelry etc.
I don’t even have the knowledge how to dress good and stylish as I don’t have a feel for that. I just end up wearing what’s most comfortable for me like random sneakers, sweatpants/shorts and a polo shirt. But even if I was able to dress stylishly my face naturally still looks very average and not like all these other people.
I wonder why people look so perfect nowadays. When I look at old video tapes or pictures (like from the 1900’s) people seem to have looked way more average like me. Why could this be? Is the pressure from social media a reason because that’s why I’m purposefully not on there.
And honestly I also don’t feel like putting so much time and effort into my looks as I think this is only secondary in life and I mainly value human connections. Obviously I put some extra time into it for some occasions where I put on contact lenses, creams, a little make up (one that’s for men of course), hair gel/spray and perfume but even then I feel like I don’t look as good as many of these people I see on a regular basis.
It depends on where you are. I just drove thru a college campus the other day for the first time in years, and for it being one of the first really nice days, I have to say the student body was… Underwhelming
You’re obviously not from round here… (Gesturing vaguely at shuffling hordes of very plain people in my town. Self included. I fit right in.)
Seriously though, comparing yourself with strangers is a terrible idea. That said, if you do want to smarten up a bit, I’d suggest going to a menswear store and asking an assistant to assist. Explain your dilemma, ask them to help you put together one outfit, “smart casual” would be a good start. Good luck!
Part of what it points to is what you’re currently paying attention to. You don’t notice all the people who aren’t what you consider “good looking”.
Later in life, you’ll notice how many people have children in strollers, or drive fancy cars, or can afford houses. You may start noticing how many people own dogs, run regularly outside, or never look up from their phones.
It’s a form of selection bias; you tend to see the people that are most likely to catch your attention, and ignore the rest.
Try an exercise: start checking to see how many people you see in public smile with their eyes.
Germans don’t smile without good reason. That’s inefficient.
Germans don’t smile with their mouths; they generally do smile with their eyes. People who only look at mouths generally miss that.
We do? Huh. Okay, but not without good reason.
Of course not. That would be wasteful.
come to my house, i look like shit
Okay good to know I’m not the only one😅
Is this the opposite of “come at me bro” ?
Marketing.
You’re horny
Just saying other people look beautiful and better than me doesn’t mean I’m horny. This realization wasn’t meant on a sexual basis. But I guess nowadays people always take stuff like this the wrong way.
But the comment is still funny lmao
Yeah, it was 95% sarcasm. But don’t underestimate the evolutionary urge to procreate, it’s one of the most powerful forces on the planet.
this is predominantly a knowledge base: dressing well is knowledge, makeup is knowledge, styling your hair is knowledge, skin care is knowledge, healthy food habits, exercise habits, and so on. you can acquire this knowledge either through self-help videos / social media, or spending money to talk to professionals, or whatever other research works for you (but the two aforementioned approaches are most common)
I live in rural America and can’t say I have the same experience as you do. I (34F) dress like a “bum” 99% of the time (T-Shirts, jeans/leggings, hair thrown in a bun) and thats how most of my busy friends dress too when they are not at work. However I do think if you live in a city or just a more populated area that its realistic to think you may end up on camera at any point during the day, and you want to look good for that, so you could feel compelled to try and always look your best.
Every once in a while, I do get full glam to go to the local grocery store because I really don’t go anywhere else, and I want a reason to “dress up” and I can imagine that there’s a lot of that going on too.
I live in a small town but in Germany. From hearing what you said about that rural place in America makes me wish to live there too. It would be so relieving to put looks secondary and see more people embracing comfort and not constantly stressing out about looks.
But from the videos I’ve seen online it looks like Americans often look even better than here in Germany with perfect white teeth and everything (even from videos recorded in grocery stores like Kroger and Walmart).
But like you said the factor of “dressing up” most likely plays a role here too.
Sometimes that’s regional. Are you located in Bavaria? I don’t know any German man that use makeup at all.
But from the videos I’ve seen online it looks like Americans often look even better than here
Let me assure you that this is not the case. People of Walmart might be a better representation of much of the U.S.
Would people there (in the US) care if I don’t put much effort into my style and wear random sweatpants with a random (polo) shirt?
Nobody outside of churches and expensive restaurants really care how you dress as long as the important bits are covered.
Anywhere you are, some will care some will not. This is part of how we filter one another out
White teeth are commonplace with people that post videos and images of themselves online on a daily basis. I would hesitate to refer to any videos with an influencer vibe as being reflective of the average in North America.
There should be a name for this kind of bias. Influencer bias, celebrity bias? Something else?
I don’t know you, but there’s a chance that someone else had this exact realization after seeing you
It’s almost May. The mating season.
It’s gonna be May!
Now don’t quote me on this, it’s based on my memory from an art history lesson roughly 20 years ago (Kunst-Grundkurs im Saarland, Ü). But, if I remember correctly, there is an inverted relationship between fashion (meaning the way people present themselves in general) and the economy. When the economy is booming, people tend to go with simple, understated shapes and colours. When the economy is slowing down, they tend to go overboard, putting more effort into their looks, wearing more noticeable jewellery etc (possibly to keep up appearances that they’re still fine?).
Again, these are tendencies, not strict rules. But maybe that’s what you’re noticing?
Most likely, you’ve just started noticing what the world has already been like for decades, if not centuries.
Taking care of yourself is of course important, but I think many people over do it in an unhealthy manner. It’s good to be clean and look nice, but you don’t have to make that the central theme of your life.
IMO, comfort and practicality are also important, but you don’t have to look like you’re still chilling at home watching a movie and munching popcorn. There are good compromises out three.
i never was in your situation. I live in France, and wherever I go, everyone looks like Quasimodo’s cousins
Really? I would’ve assumed the opposite, isn’t France the fashion center of the world?
They didn’t say they’re poorly dressed. Just ugly
believe it or not, there is such a thing as looking “good enough” in any situation. spending this much time comparing yourself to everyone else-- you’re in for an exhausting life
Where I live people dress like shit
I wanna move there, what’s the place
Vancouver Island
Join the club bud everyone wants to be here, we’re full
