• Underwaterbob@lemm.ee
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    23 days ago

    This was the moment I checked out of the prequels. Vader, as a child, built C-3PO? I’m supposed to continue suspending my disbelief, now? Impossible.

    • StellarExtract@lemm.ee
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      23 days ago

      Definitely one of my least favorite aspects of them. Everyone must get a backstory, and they must all be interrelated. The galaxy’s a small place apparently.

      • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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        23 days ago

        Story takes place in a whole-ass galaxy. Everyone winds up back on Tatooine for some stupid reason; the planet with barely one ecosystem, practically zero vegetation, no economy that matters, yet populated with two (?) cities. Other planets also have exactly one ecosystem, culture, and one optional urban center1. There’s also only 12 or so planets that matter, yet half of everyone you meet are from all the other ones. You may not like what you see, but this is peak sci-fi writing performance, right here. /s

        This story could take place in a diverse corner of a single Earth-like planet and it wouldn’t be all that different.


        1 - Meanwhile planet Coruscant is an urban center where the ecosystem can best be described as “traffic” and the culture is “city folk that inexplicably eat at 1950’s-style diners”.

    • Deconceptualist@lemm.ee
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      23 days ago

      Maybe C3PO was a kit. Like a gay robot Lego set for ages 5-12. Those Jawas can sell practically anything.

      • Demdaru@lemmy.world
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        23 days ago

        He built it out of junk. Most of internal components were prolly cherry picked and then maaaybe fixed up a bit. Sheesh. Like, kiddo may have been good at soldering, so he fixed a few electronic parts.

      • _stranger_@lemmy.world
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        23 days ago

        This is my favorite theory. I mean, I’m not a star wars historian deep in debate, buffet plate at Bennigan’s, but I like to think I know my stuff.

        • King3d@lemmy.world
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          22 days ago

          Gotta make the money, credit’s no good. When the Jawas run the shop in your neighborhood

    • Mnemnosyne@sh.itjust.works
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      22 days ago

      Not when, in a universe known to contain non-organic beings able to perform tasks like smuggling plans, a gunnery officer decided to save lasers (as though they were apparently a precious resource) and not fire on an escape pod with no life signs? I feel like that would be the most appropriate moment to stop taking Star Wars seriously.

      • Excrubulent@slrpnk.net
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        22 days ago

        It’s okay to accept it’s got a bunch of plot holes and enjoy it for what it is: grungy WWII fighter pilots/samurai/wizards/Vietnam war allegory in space.

        Edit: also nukes

      • Underwaterbob@lemm.ee
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        22 days ago

        Well yeah, but I was very young. I haven’t re-watched the original movies in a very long time for a very good reason. I’ll keep those memories intact, thank you.

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      23 days ago

      Right? And Luke leaving behind a prosperous moisture farming career to go fight baddies? Um, no thank you. Know your audience, Lucas.

    • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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      22 days ago

      I don’t think he’s supposed to have designed it or anything. I think it’s an existing model, and he just scrounged for scrap to put him together. It’s basically the thing he’s known for as a child. His pod racer seems a little more unbelievable, right?

      • Underwaterbob@lemm.ee
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        22 days ago

        Not that he couldn’t have put together a droid, but that he put this very specific, very integral-to-later-events one together himself. It’s ludicrously coincidental.

        • jwmgregory@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          22 days ago

          it’s very synchronous rather than causal. i don’t think the rhetoric and messaging of the original star wars was for you. if you’re familiar with the concepts and ideas that went into star wars in the first place then, at least imo, it’s a very natural plot turn that threepio was himself built by vader. yes, the story revolves around anakin in this grandiose and cosmic way. that’s a feature, not a bug.

        • DillyDaily@lemmy.world
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          22 days ago

          Hence why star wars is a chosen one, hero’s quest, prophetised fantasy. Not a Sci fi.

          When you and your kin are all prophetised to do important shit, there is no coincidence. it’s all part of a bigger divine plan of fate. Or it’s the midi-chlorians or something I dunno, I slept through the prequels.

        • Fleur_@lemm.ee
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          22 days ago

          Makes more sense when you realise there’s only like 30ish people in the entire star wars universe

    • bitjunkie@lemmy.world
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      22 days ago

      That’s what you’re supposed to do, though. They’re fun space cowboy movies. Anybody who gets upset about the prequels being cheesy or having plot holes is just remembering the originals through rose-colored lenses.

      Revolutionary for the time, sure, but the fact that some of it didn’t work in spite of the level of ambition is (for me, at least) part of the charm.

      • BowtiesAreCool@lemmy.world
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        22 days ago

        Hold on hold on. You trying to argue that the prequels are the same quality as the originals, that’s just batshit crazy. The revisionism these last years about the prequels because all the kids who were born right around then and grew up watching them is wild. They are not good movies. Sure there’s stuff to like and anyone can find enjoyment in nostalgia, but to say the originals are just as bad and it’s only rose colored glasses is just wrong.

        • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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          22 days ago

          IDK, I kind of agree with them. As a 90s kid, the originals didn’t really impress 12-year-old me. The acting was amateurish and cheesy, the “special effects” were cheesy, the story was extremely cliche by that point, the writing was 18-month aged Parmesan cheesy. To 12-year-old-me, the prequels had slightly better acting, better special effects, a much more compelling and interesting story, and the writing was still pretty cheesy. Maybe the dark, brooding main character really did it for my 12-year-old emo self, I dunno. But yeah, I don’t think it’s that crazy to prefer the prequels to the original trilogy. Like, looking back, neither trilogies really hold up, but the originals are very much propped up pretty much just because they were “revolutionary” nearly fifty years ago.

          • ahornsirup@feddit.org
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            22 days ago

            As another 90s kid that watched the prequels in theatres as they came out: I enjoyed the originals, even though I was only about half your age at the time. Probably worth noting that my mum made sure that I watched the original trilogy before Phantom Menace. And I’m sorry but the acting in the PT is supposed to be better than in the OT? What? No. Nothing against the actors because a lot of it was due to writing (especially for Anakin and Padmé’s shared scenes, especially especially in II where Anakin is such a fucking creep) and direction, but no.

            • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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              22 days ago

              Yes, the acting is better in the prequels than the original trilogy. The main character actors in the prequels had no idea what they were doing, and you could tell. I think part of that was writing, and part was inexperience on the actors’ parts. The prequels kept the bad writing, but at least had more experienced actors reading that terrible script for the most part, which makes a noticeable difference in acting quality. Keep in mind, the prequels have more characters in them than Anakin and Padme - I feel like you’re tunneling on those two.

          • Klear@lemmy.world
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            22 days ago

            I remember being so bored watching Ep 2 that I started to notice that every time a scene changes, Padmé has a different outfit on her. The most suspenseful part was when a scene ended with her tied to a pole in an arena. Surely she won’t be able to change now, right? Well, turns out that right as the action switched back to her, she got slashed across her back by a monster and took the opportunity to tear up her long white dress into a different set of clothes.

            • theangryseal@lemmy.world
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              22 days ago

              I haven’t seen them in nearly 20 years. It’s embarrassing how Star Wars obsessed I was as a teenager. Like, holy shit embarrassing. I “photoshopped” images of myself with light sabers and everything.

              Fuck it. I’ll show you guys. Man. I shouldn’t.

              I thought the one was gone forever, but my sister wasn’t going to let that happen. She said when I posted it to MySpace she knew I’d be embarrassed one day and delete it so she printed it off. Haha. What a dick.

              Damn. Here goes.

      • Moneo@lemmy.world
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        22 days ago

        Looool.

        You’re right that the OT are just fun movies that are much less impressive than when they came out.

        The prequels are hot steaming piles of shit in comparison though. Maybe you need to remove your rose tinted glasses?

          • Moneo@lemmy.world
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            16 days ago

            If that’s how you feel, ok. I’d love to hear your reasoning for why any of the prequels are better than FA.

        • Dragon "Rider"(drag)@lemmy.nz
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          22 days ago

          Drag likes movies that explore how an opportunistic politician can subvert democracy to create a fascist dictatorship with thunderous applause from the people who are about to be oppressed.

          • Moneo@lemmy.world
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            16 days ago

            Pointing out that the prequels have the slightest hint of an interesting story does not change that they are garbage movies. All you’ve done is summarize the plot in vague terms that are only slightly more vague than the movies themselves. They do not “explore how an opportunistic politician can subvert democracy to create a fascist dictatorship”, they barely even dip their toes in the attempt.

            The prequels do not do an adequate job of establishing why the republic is vulnerable to being hijacked by a fascist dictator. They do not adequately establish how Palpatine is able to seize power. Germany was reeling from WW2 and was thus vulnerable to a charismatic dictator like Hitler. Hitler successfully used the hate and anger of german citiziens, caused by the very real suffering they were experiencing post WW1.

            What the fuck happened in the prequels? There was a trade dispute, whatever that means, (it’s never explained in the slightest), and so Palpatine gets appointed supreme leader or something? No suffering of average people is asserted, no populist rhetoric that gains momentum because of real suffering. Just, there’s a war so we need a supreme leader and it has to be Palpatine.

            The plot is completely nonsensical and I challenge you to outline Palpatines rise to power in detail. Every single character acts like a complete idiot and does nothing as Palpatine blatantly seizes power.

            Not to mention the dog shit dialogue, stiff delivery, boring characters, racist caricatures, and blatant and obnoxious pandering to children.

            The prequels are absolute awful movies in basically every way imaginable. Pretending they are some sort of intellectual piece of work just exposes you as an idiot or someone who hasn’t watched the movies since they were 8 years old.

            Sorry to be a dick but those movies are seriously fucking bad and I have issues.

            • Dragon "Rider"(drag)@lemmy.nz
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              15 days ago

              The Republic’s democracy is not functioning. The senators are corrupt and only care about laws that benefit the 1%. We see the streets of Coruscant outside of the Senate and Temple, and it’s a shithole. There’s rampant poverty and drug use.

              The Trade Federation are a symbol of bourgeois corruption in the minds of the people. The Trade Federation impose unreasonable tariffs and fines on the people, contributing to poverty. That’s what they’re doing to Naboo. The people sympathise with Naboo because Naboo is being oppressed the same way they are. And when Naboo stands up to the bullies, they get blockaded and subject to an illegal invasion.

              The Republic does not have an army, a command structure, or a political mechanism for dealing with war. This is silly, but bear with drag. The Senate has to vote to go to war with the Trade Federation. But the Senators can’t agree on how, and they’d much rather be voting on corrupt issues like giving themselves raises or giving tax breaks to trillionaires.

              Palpatine offers to take over all the messy business of controlling the political wartime strategy. The Senators support this idea because they don’t give a shit and just want the problem to go away. The people support this idea because they’re tired of the Senators never getting anything important done, and the see Naboo as a symbol of their own problems. Palpatine promises to bring the Trade Federation down a few notches and make life easier for everyone.

              Palpatine gains complete control over the Republic’s military policy, and then proceeds to keep the Republic in a forever war that increases poverty and destruction, while promising everyone that the answer to the problem is to just give him more power. Like George Bush.

    • SirSamuel@lemmy.world
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      22 days ago

      Mine was Padme dressing in BDSM gear around the incel monk with an obvious crush on her, and then saying he made her uncomfortable when he started creeping on her

      Generally I think women should be able to wear what makes them feel pretty/empowered/safe without getting creeped on, but goddamn, read the room chica!

      Also, “I hate sand”. Kenobi H Christ, it’s awkward

    • Sludgeyy@lemmy.world
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      21 days ago

      “The 3PO-series protocol droid, also known as the 3PO-series protocol unit, was a model of protocol droid produced by Cybot Galactica sometime prior to the Invasion of Naboo. They were equipped with a TranLang III communication module, and as a result were fluent in over 6 million forms of communication. C-3PO was an example of this model, though he was rebuilt out of spare parts. TC-series protocol droids appeared similar to 3PO units.”

      Wookieepedia

      There are a ton of 3PO-series droids in the Star Wars universe.

      Vader would not look at a 3P0 droid and think “maybe that’s the droid I built as a child and left on a plant in the outer rim”

      Same with R2-D2

      It’s just for the movie sake that there aren’t 30 CP0s and 50 R2-D2 units running around in the background. “Wait did Biggs just get R2 in his x-wing?” No, it’s some completely different droid I’ve never seen. Some things have to be adapted for the movie.

      As for difficulty, no harder than building like a PC. If there are a ton of CP0 units, he simply takes working parts from a dozen broken ones and pieces them together. He’s a child, they fib and stretch the truth. He could have just attached new legs to the unit that needed only legs and then went through the setup process of “programing” him.

      He didn’t Tony Stark C3P0. He pieced together a robot from pre-made CP0 scrap parts.

      • Underwaterbob@lemm.ee
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        21 days ago

        And according to other posts in here, they’re sentient, and property. And they let kids build them. He also happened to build the one that would be partially responsible for his downfall years later. Star Wars. The universe that keeps on giving.

    • Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world
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      22 days ago

      Considering they are sentient beings they are basically Skywalker family/property, is it really so far fetched they would accompany Leia? Like, they can’t think for themselves and as much as Vader loved the thrill of being right in the center of the action so did r2. 3p0 just wants to be loved.

      • Underwaterbob@lemm.ee
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        21 days ago

        So, they let kids bring sentient beings into existence. Sentient beings that are property. This opens a whole new can of beans on the Star Wars universe.

        • Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world
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          21 days ago

          Tattooine isn’t really known for its strict laws on morality. Anikin, the slave, was allowed to drive a pod racer, which apparently had like a 10% survival rate per race.