Pretty sure that Dimetrodon has a mustache so it must have been a very silly time in paleontology.

I know they’re not dinosaurs, but I like pterosaurs a lot. Their wings look cool and I bet a flock of them in the sky would be a crazy sight!

That dude who punched a Nazi in Seattle is fine I’m pretty sure. Punching Nazis is cool

They’re just kicking the can down the road until the heat dies down.

Its gravitational pull moves asteroids away from the inner ring of planets.

Would

No need to be so dramaetic about it.

A miserable little pile of secrets

I poop in cleaner water than people used to drink. I still have teeth because a dentist filled my cavities. I’m typing this comment on a device that can show me nearly anything I want.

We’ve got it really, really good. It could also be better and more just.

Hell yeah I want that Shire life

Yo I wanna walk to my buddies house, smoke some pot, eat some good food and just live a jolly life.

You will die alone and forgotten, disgraced by history. 13 curses upon you.

I tried this and it doesn’t work. Took a purple glitter pill and checked my poops for a few days.

I’m guessing my body just absorbed the plastic. Delicious, Delicious plastic.

I got my pill for free so at least I didn’t spend a bunch of money on shit.

I love this real life Space Dandy reference

If you look at beef you can have low resolution steaks.

Criminality underrated game.

Defensive scowling has helped save my life against gigantic SUVs on more than one occasion. Did you know that road monsters cannot legally pulp you without your consent?

But… Pie…

Oh I’m so jealous. I’ve got two kids in the United States and it cost almost $3k per month in daycare alone. We’re not taking them to an incredibly fancy daycare either!

Hey you quit smoking! That’s hard to do. You’ll reach a balance but this Internet stranger is proud of you!