The original opening sequence had Gordon completing several hundred grant applications, but it didn’t playtest well.

Rule 34 in particular is an excellent read, and expands on some of the concepts in the post.

Cosmetics, apparently: https://www.bostonmagazine.com/health/2015/04/14/baby-foreskin-facial-boston-hydrafacial/

Did he also eat his meat raw and sleep in trees?

Just after Salmon(d). Presumably, the next one will be the well-known Scottish politician Davey Coelacanth.

He somehow manages to simultaneously look like both Beavis and Butthead.

“again”

I’VE GIVEN THEE COURTESY ENOUGH

Same; I’m Scottish, so anything over about 35C will literally kill me. A week’s diving in Malta during October, though? Lovely!

This guy is plainly off to hunt some trolls.