becoming desperate

don’t do that. not only do you risk settling for someone toxic, but you also risk becoming codependent on anyone you find.

no one is going to fulfil you, if that is what you are looking for. complement, yes, but your own happiness must not be subject to their presence or absence in your life.

I

I met my future husband on Plenty of Fish. It was supposed to be a simple date/hook up. However, we just clicked and never stopped seeing each other. We would both feel bad after not seeing each other and had to finally admit to each other that what we had is something more than just a hookup.

We are so opposite. Like very different. However, as the years passed we have influenced each other’s interests and behaviors and we are both better people for it. We grew. It’s been about 13 years now and during that time we got married and started a family. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s a road I would not have wanted to travel with anyone else.

My advice is that if what you want is a real, lasting LTR, you need to look past the “qualifications”, pictures, and stats on dating apps. Widen your dating pool. Date the human. Find out their passions and instincts. What makes them happy? Or sad? Show them what makes you unique. Show them what you enjoy. Try out their interests and learn from each other. Don’t try to rush into relationship-thinking. Just enjoy yourself. If its a match, you will know.

I thought I was really desperate after my last ex broke up with me, because part of me wanted companionship back (I was in the relationship for 8 years) so badly that I felt like I would do anything for it.

I realized though that, in addition to being asexual, I was aromantic, and that the partnership I wanted was a queer platonic one. I know this basically not anything like other people want but I thought I’d share regardless.

I have no desire to go on dating apps, because what would it do for someone like me? I met my first ex through fandom RP, and my second ex through school. my QPP I also met through RP, and we now write together every day. we bond a lot through creating stories together, and although we’re in two separate countries for now, the relationship has been going strong for several years. hobbies I feel are always a good starting place for trying to meet people, for what that’s worth.

a major thing for me has been communication. try to always keep in mind that playing games isn’t going to get you anywhere. honest communication may suck sometimes, but I had it really nailed into me that it was important, and so I try to practice that every day with my partner.

I wish you lots of luck in finding what you need!

I met my wife on Bumble and we just had our first baby. Dating apps didn’t work well for me for about a year, but then they really started to pick up and I had much better dates. What I found worked best was sticking to swiping, but getting to an actual date within the first week of talking and limiting getting to know eachother over text. If you do the whole introductory phase on an app, then you will have a hard time developing a dialogue or a vibe in person. If you use the apps for brief introductions and finding dates, then they are good. I would just try to take the dialogue off the app as soon as you see an opportunity to have a date in person.

Honestly, dating apps have always weirded me out so I never used them. I’ve only dated people I met in real life; which, as an introvert, means I haven’t dated many people at all. I’d rather quality over quantity. Every date I’ve been on has lead to a LTR, because we already knew we had chemistry before our first date.

I met my spouse through work. I know lots of people recommend not dating people from your job, and it can be risky, but it worked for us. Of course, my parents have been married for over 40 years and also met at their job, so I guess maybe it’s genetic.

As for what keeps us together? It’s just easy. We like being around each other and work well together, despite our many differences. Life’s better with them in it.

Dating in general is rough. Apps work for some and not for others. I like reading studies, and the ones on apps always made me feel pretty hopeless. You’re definitely not alone in feeling empty interacting with the algorithm. I did the same thing you’re doing, joined groups, joined multiple apps to increase my chances and odds, I came and went in activity frequently. My mental health definitely didn’t help in the search for a partner.

Married my LTR. We met on a dating app right before COVID hit. We’d crossed paths a few times before and had some mutual acquaintances, but it wasn’t until both of us were on the app that we started any interaction. Both of us had basically given up on the apps but were convinced by friends to try it again. I know it’s super cliché, but things just clicked and felt right. We had some bumps, but both of us really wanted to make the relationship work.

We stay together because we’re comfortable with each other. We’re on the same page on most things, we discuss things when we’re not. If we need space, we give it. We’re open minded, try things on our own and together. Usually when we’re apart and experiencing something, one of the first thoughts is “I wish they were here.” We’re ok with quiet and just existing in the same space, we don’t need fancy or extravagant or to always have something going on.

Could we have been with other people and made it? Probably. I’m not a huge ‘the one’ person, she’s probably more than me. However, there’s a lot of times she makes me question my stance on that. She’s pretty neat and I don’t know what I did to deserve her.

I found my partner 14 years ago in the hospital as I was lying on the same station as her mum was.

I can not recommend you slip off a roof and break your femur just to find love. There must be other ways. Please explore other avenues.