Hii,

I am a freshly cracked mtf egg.

TLDR at end

My parents are raging transphobes. Like the level of crazy where both are anti vax, one is flat earther, and I’ve had arguments with them where they claim that there are a lot of people out there who identify as a helicopter and people who identify as something they weren’t born as should be in mental asylums.

My youngest sibling won’t be an adult until 15 months from now and still lives in their house. I don’t know what my parents will do once I’m out, but I doubt it will be supportive and I’m sure it would ruin my sibling’s life. They’re immigrants who hold citizenship in another country, so leaving the US (“which infected me with the woke mind virus”) with my youngest sibling is quite possible. Which is why I want to pass in boymode until they graduate high school (may 2026) and can get out.

My question is, when do I start HRT and at what dose? Do I start low dose at x months before I want to be out? Do I start regular dose y months before I want to be out? I plan to move to a blue State in a few months, so I would be living in a different State for the last few months before my youngest sibling gets out. So I can make excuses and not go home and just need to pass over video call after about feb 2026.

omg, that was so so long. Feel like I had to get some of that off my chest. Thanks for reading!!!

Additional info to consider:

  • My weight is about 25% of the way from the lowest normal BMI to the highest normal BMI.
  • My natural voice is already androngenous and I’ve been called m’am on the phone many times, so any vocal changes will likely fly under the radar.
  • My hair is receding, idk if starting a low dose earlier instead of an avg dose later would help me keep more of it?
  • I would be 23 for most of 2025. I heard the body can keep developing until 25, so does that mean I need to start earlier to make more of that last stage of development go in a fem way instead of a masc way? Or does it not really make a difference?

TLDR: trying to pass in person for ~12 more months and pass over video call for ~18. Heard something (maybe myth?) that it would be better to start earlier since I’m still in my low 20s. When do I start and low dose or normal dose?

  • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.world
    11·
    18 days ago

    I’d suggest starting a full dose as soon as possible for a couple of reasons.

    First, people who know you are actually less likely to notice changes than strangers. So long as you’re not super close to them anymore, they might not notice that you pass as a girl if you aren’t being overtly feminine. Even if you stop being able to pass as male to the world, you might still pass to your parents.

    Second, there really isn’t much benefit to being at a lower dose, as our body prefers to be dominated by one sex hormone or the other. We’re a bit less healthy at lower e in an e dominant system, or lower t in a t dominant system. There is wiggle room, but at the cost of numerous systems that function best in either sweet spot.

    That said, e regiments start off at a tentative dose anyways, as that’s both safer for most meds, and how natural puberty begins. There are even arguments that starting lower has better results, but that science isn’t as settled.

    You’re probably fine with starting out as is typical, especially since you’re moving away in a few months anyways. Even if you see rapid progress, you’ll probably be able to cover for the effects, especially in winter clothing. It also takes time to find a supplier or a doctor, whether you do DIY or informed consent. You’ll stop hair loss so long as you have proper testosterone suppression, and for that, you want to act quickly.