Therapy.

What does SOL stands for? Son-out-of-law? Sucked of life? Stranded on Luna?

Same, but I tend to YDR most days if im feeling down or NLC if I’m up

No, you should talk to a therapist about exactly this. Why are you feeling annoyed? Why are you disgusted with yourself? Why does laughing elicit feelings of disgust and annoyance? --That association seems indicative of poor mental health.