Transcription:
How To Confound A Centaur
Centaur: Hold it right there, you can’t just ride through my fields uncontested! I’ll lose my credibility if we don’t battle or something.
Me: That’s fair. How about we–
Centaur: And it can’t be a pun battle, I heard what you did to the sphinx.
Me: Darn. Okay, what if I beat you in a horse race?
Centaur: Ha! Alright, your funeral. Where’s the finish line?
Me: That tree over there. Where’s your horse?
Centaur: (gestures at horsey backside) Um…?
Me: You’re not a horse, this is a HORSE race. You have to race with an actual horse.
Centaur: You want me… a centaur… to RIDE a regular horse.
Me: That is, linguistically-speaking, what you agreed to.
Centaur: …
Me: …
Centaur: I hate you.
Me: That’s fair.
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A kobold. In the morning it scurries around on all fours, trying to get everything in order before its master wakes up. At midday, it stands at attention before its master. By the evening, it gets tired and leans on its tail a bit.
I can confirm this to be correct.