First thing I did upon starting my work day was to open a beer. Just one out of two purchased for the occasion of yesterday being payday. I then proceeded to skim through my inbox and appointments for the day, concluding that beyond migrating this one production system over to the new VPN there’s not going to be a whole lot happening today. Just like most other days.
Second thing I do is to fire up my personal PC. For three reasons:
- Write this post
- Check if there are any new torrents worth downloading
- Check my personal e-mail to see if the competitor has gotten the paperwork ready. I’m so looking forward to jumping ship for the competition.
So, long story short, I worked for a company we’ll call A. We had a customer that we’ll call B to whom we sold a few older production systems. Then A got bought up by huge company C. Initially I didn’t mind. But while A was the perfect size for me - Big enough to give me a nice budget and the resources I asked for, company C is 90% red tape, where I can’t do shit without approval from everyone. On top of that, people more skilled at office politics than I managed transfer all of the interesting aspects of my job halfway around the world. Then, it turns out that a couple of former coworkers of mine joined company B as consultants, and they wanted me on board. 30% pay increase, and I get to do what I liked to do again. That’s an easy choice. I can’t jump over soon enough.
So while I now am severely overpaid to do ridiculously easy stuff, I’m so fucking demotivated and sick of my employer and all of its corporate bullshit (which constitutes 80% of my inbox nowadays) that even when I do nothing, and I’m sitting in my living room couch, I fucking hate it.
I had a revelation around half a year ago, where I was out in the field, and I was having a beer with a friend/coworker. “It’s not fun anymore…” we agreed. That’s when I started toying with the idea of looking elsewhere. I used to enjoy what I did for a living. I found my work day interesting, the right amount of challenging, and it catered to something I was good at. And I know most people have more valid complaints than their job not being fun, and I know that I’m spoiled in that regard. I hate my current job, not only because it’s not fun. But because it’s turning me into someone I don’t want to be - A bullshit employee with a bullshit job.
I don’t know where I wanted to go with this post, or what I wanted to achieve. I just needed to vent, even though the gas that comes out of the vent is a moist fart with not a whole lot of pressure behind it.
Hey brother. I’m in a similar boat as you. I’m an attorney, naturally working long and stressful days and weekends, never finding time for myself, never able to decompress. I literally told someone the other day that I can’t remember the last time I was “relaxed”.
I wake up thinking about alcohol. The urge to pour a drink starts creeping up on me around 2:00pm each day. Sometimes I sneak out of the office and grab a pint at the local pub. Sometimes I pour boxed wine into my Yeti mug. The booze came my brain and helps me stop feeling all the pressure and demands of work and life. I usually don’t get drunk, just kinda numb my brain a bit… But it is a slippery slope and definitely comes at a cost. I find myself being unable to totally stop once I have that first drink. And having recently been told that I’m “not a fun drunk”, I’m worried and nervous.
Hang in there. Hopefully the new job is better. And take care of yourself.
ive had similar feelings with my job, honesty, i could have written half of this.
my employer though, to their credit, seemed to have stepped up their game… they dont want me jumping ship, so they are feeding me interesting things to keep me busy between ‘big’ things.
do you have any overlapping technical hobbies to fill that need in your daily life? maybe generate the fun you want?
one of my personal solutions to this exact issue is by tackling a fully functional, scalable fediverse implementation. fun! it has forced me to learn several new pieces of tech, and revisit ones i thought i had a handle on.
I do have some sort of server room at home that I tinker with now and then. Setting up my own fed instance is something I might do, but I need another rack installed first, as I have another server I’d like to dedicate to that purpose.
However, once I get on board company C as described above, it should be good. I’ll get the interesting stuff back again. It just takes its time, because I told them that one of my demands for joining them would be to establish an EOR in my country (better employers protections and rights, etc), and that part of the ordeal is taking its time.
I hope the new job is going to work out for you!
Personally, I’m pretty unhappy in my company, but I’ve mostly been using the free time to do things that I can be fulfilled with - especially Wikipedia editing, which can be done while remaining available for the colleagues and even looking like I’m working because I’m online :)
Maybe this could be some kind of partial solution for you as well?
As for the alcohol, I’m so sorry for this and I hope things will get better. If you feel like you’re losing control, I highly recommend checking out if you can get professional help, by a specialist who won’t judge and is there just for that.
Good luck!
It’s under control. I allow myself one or two beers on pay day, and I limit it to a sixpack on weekends. I’m not 100% dry, but i’m not falling off the cliff either. I’m fine as it is now.
I am about to complete my long running Factorio game that I usually play during work hours. Once that’s done I need to figure out something new to do.
Let us know how the new job is when you’re settled in!
It’s not happening until February at the earliest, I’m afraid. I have to give three months notice at my current job (That goes both ways, just for the record), something I’m not doing until the new paperwork is signed and filed.
I‘m guessing you already know about David Graber‘s Bullshit Jobs?
I do now. The thing is, my job should exist. It’s just that the reasons for it existing aren’t as prevalent anymore.
I hope you get to move over to Company B as soon as possible, and I’m sorry that things have been an absolute shitshow (from what I can gather) at A/C.
So obviously you’ll need to find your motivation elsewhere. Maybe get new education/certifications to get a more challenging job? Or enjoy what you have and use that spare time to develop new hobbies?
I’m 40, so restarting my career at this point is a no-go. Plus, up until this summer I enjoyed my career, so it’s just an issue with my current employer. Besides, the systems and tasks that were migrated away from me are what I will be doing at my new job; Designing, building and implementing the new production systems, something I suddenly was unable to do at my current job.
I’m not talking about a restart. Get a few more things on your resume to find a more challenging version of your job at a less shit employer.
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So when do you go over to company B? I’m kinda confused.
